Superman VS The X-Men

THE X-MEN VS SUPERMAN

I've read this battle discussed before. And I have chosen the 1993 cast simply because it is the one I, and many others are familiar with, having grown up with them. So, let's examine some of the strengths and weaknesses involved in the X-Men, and how they stack against the Man of Steel, Then we can make an educated decision as to the outcome.

First off, Cyclops. As far as physical prowess goes, Cyclops is basically just an ordinary man. He is trained to use his body in combat, though it is not enhanced in any way by his mutation. His optic blast can go either one of two ways against the Man of Steel. First, since the blast can "punch a hole through a mountain", it may be enough to stun Superman and knock the breath out of him. Especially if it catches him off guard. Although, I have heard that Cyclops' blast basically comes from a power within him and it is a power similar to that of the sun. If that is the case, it is indeed possible that the optic blast may actually assist Superman, as his power is drawn from yellow solar energy. This would depend on the interpretation of Cyclops' mutant ability, though.

My feeling is that number one is more likely. It would not be anywhere near enough to take Supes down for good, though. Once Superman shakes the blast off, he will be back in action. And when he braces for impact and utilizes his super speed, Cyclops will have a hard time targeting Superman again. Then it is a simple flick to his skull to immobilize the X-Man.

The inclusion of Wolverine raises an argument as old as comic book grudge matches, and that is Adamantium vs Superman. Adamantium is supposedly indestructible and it can also cut through anything, except more Adamantium. And Superman has been known to destroy things that are supposedly unbreakable, such as diamonds. Can it then be assumed that Superman can be cut by adamantium? Or that Superman can break it? Let's examine some facts.

First, let's look the origin of adamantium. The movie X-Men Origins: Wolverine hints that adamantium is a metal that was found in a meteor from space. According to the Marvel universe though, it is actually a man-made metal created in an attempt to mimic Vibranium, a metal most well known as the material Captain America's shield is made of. Its origins are from outside of Earth. Since this battle is using Wolverine from the comic universe and not the films, however, we have to assume that adamantium is a man-made metal, created from Earth-based material. If the space origins of adamantium were true, I would lean on the side that it could cut Superman, and possibly even defeat him if the right strokes were used. This is because extraterrestrial elements, such as Kryptonite, can and have injured Superman in the past. Since it's elemental make up is Earth based, though, we have to assume that Superman could not be injured by it. It may even be probable that Superman could damage the metal itself. For the sake of fairness, let's assume that it could not, though.

Even if we were to assume that adamantium could hurt Superman, the outcome depends on the user. Despite his mutation and skills as a soldier and samurai, Logan is a human. He has shown great speed in his reflexes and attacks but this is nowhere near the abilities of the last son of Krypton. If he somehow managed to sneak up on Superman, he might be able to injure him. That is a strong might, though, as it depends on Logan's skill at attempting to surprise a man with super senses that can move almost as fast as light. That is not very likely.

An interesting discussion arises with Rogue. Rogue's abilities allow her to absorb other people's strengths and powers simply through physical contact. This weakens the person being touched. This is good to note since it actually resembles one of Superman's more powerful enemies: Parasite. Parasite regularly absorbs Superman's abilities, essentially leaving him in a human form. This leads me to believe Rogue could do the same to Superman.

The question is, though, does Rogue absorb Superman's actual powers? Would she immediately gain his strength, different vision abilities, super breath, flight and speed? Or does she simply absorb his Kryptonian physique? What's the difference?

Superman's Kryptonian physique enables him the ability to absorb yellow sunlight and utilize the lesser gravity of Earth. This is what truly gives him his powers. However, these powers do not manifest immediately, they take many, many years to reach fruition. If Rogue only inherited Superman's Kryptonian heritage, would it take years for her to reach his strength?

My guess is no. Since Rogue not only absorbs powers but also memories and emotional traits, she could more than likely absorb all of Superman's abilities at once. If she can grab up to the minute thoughts and memories, why can't she grab up to the minute abilities?

A question arises now. When Parasite touches Superman, his powers are not immediately drained. It takes time to fully drain Superman, which gives him time to shake Parasite off of him and even go toe to toe with him, albeit weakened. Would Rogue's ability affect him the same way?

Research shows that for every second Rogue touches her victim, they lose their abilities for sixty seconds. Knowing how fast Superman can react, could he shake her off and retain his abilities in a weakened state? Or does he revert to human for a full minute? It is also interesting to note that sometimes Rogue latches on to people that are too powerful, either mentally or physically, for her to properly absorb anything from them, even to the point of hurting herself in the process. Since Superman has extremely powerful abilities, can we conclude that she could not handle the powers in full? Her absorbtion of Miss Marvel's powers and even Juggernaut's has adversely affected her, at least temporarily.

I think it's safe and fair to conclude that Rogue could siphon off a portion of Superman's strength. This would probably level both of them out, giving them equal strength and power. Superman would be weakened, but not entirely human and Rogue would not be overwhelmed by Superman's full potential. Therefore, in my mind, Rogue presents the greatest physical threat to Superman on the X-Men team.

Beast's physical prowess would mean nothing in a one on one fight against Superman. His only ally is his keen, scientific and inventive mind. As a scientist and geneticist, it is possible that given time he could find and invent a way to take Superman down scientifically. Why is this this the conclusion I draw?

Before the 1980's, what was Lex Luthor? He was a brilliant inventor who used his intellect to attempt to destroy Superman using inventions and weaponry. Beast's intellectual skills include expertise in theoretical physics, quantum mechanics, nanotechnology, analytical chemistry, electrical engineering, and mechanical engineering. These would enable him with any number of mechanical skills necessary to design and build machines or devices that could exploit Superman's weaknesses to kryptonite or red solar radiation.

Beast's abilities in this area depend on a few important factors. Are the X-Men going against Superman blind, or do they have knowledge of him before the fight? If Beast knows about kryptonite, could he gain access to it in time? What about red sun radiation? Would he be able to recreate it?

Much like Batman's advantage in most fights, I feel that if Beast was given enough time to prepare for this battle he could design a way to weaken Superman. This would at least give the team time to subdue him.

Gambit's most prominent ability is the power to convert objects' potential energy into kinetic energy. The problem with using this against Superman is that the power of his explosions is dependent on the mass of the object he is charging. For example, a charged playing card explodes with the force of a grenade. The problem is, the larger an object is, the more time it takes to charge. How could he utilize his mutant power in a fight against Superman?

One way could be that Superman would not expect a playing card being tossed at him to hold any kind of explosive charge. Gambit could toss one at him, and Superman, knowing that an attack of that sort with a regular old playing card could do nothing to him, may have his guard down. This would allow Gambit's first couple cards to probably disorient him. Gambit also carries a bo-staff that he can charge with enough energy to topple a house. Again, Superman would expect such a weapon to bounce off him harmlessly, so he would not be fully ready for the force of a wrecking ball to knock him over.

Given that this is a team match, though, could Gambit technically charge something large with enough power to injure Superman? For the sake of argument, let's assume that a Volkswagen Beetle fully charged could immobilize Superman. Could Gambit charge it with enough energy? Let us examine this.

Let's say it takes a full second to charge a playing card with the force of a grenade. How many playing cards equal a car's mass? According to some Internet searches, A playing card is approximately 1.8 grams. The mass of a Volkswagen Beetle is 810 kg. In order to fully charge the car, it would take 810,000 seconds. Could the entire X-Men team included here distract Superman for over nine days straight, giving Gambit the time necessary to charge the vehicle? I would have to answer no.

What about Storm? Could her mastery of weather allow her to immobilize Superman? Let's look at something Batman once did in a fight with Superman.

In the comic storyline "Hush", Batman used electricity to basically taser Superman. How much did he use? The entire power grid of Metropolis had to be surged into Superman's body to even remotely stall him. Does Storm have the ability to do so with lightning? According an online search, a lightning strike contains enough energy to power an average American home for a week. One home's power is nowhere near the power needed to run a city the size of Metropolis.

However, Storm could utilize more than one lightning strike, perhaps even using a continuous blast directed into Superman's body directly. If Superman is caught unawares, perhaps charging Storm without knowing her true potential, he could get knocked on his butt by numerous lightning strikes. At the very least, this could stall him enough to allow the other X-Men members time to attack or regroup, whatever the case may be.

Another interesting note is that Storm is immune to extremes in temperatures. This means arctic breath and heat vision would not harm her. Though this may not even be worth noting, since Superman would more than likely die before attempting to burn any enemy to death.

Given Storm's abilities, she has also been known to remove oxygen from people's lungs or use air pressure to inflict pain on the inner ear. However, Superman holds his breath for lengthy trips through space regularly, so he could easily overcome having air removed from his lungs. Since he is impervious to pain, the inner ear pain would not affect him. Lightning is Storm's best bet against Superman.

The problem is, though, that once Superman is attacked by lightning, he can brace himself and come out of it eventually. On numerous times he has gone against Captain Marvel and Black Adam, both of whom utilize lightning strikes. Superman can eventually get away from this situation and even use it against them. So, Storm would hold the upper hand for a brief moment, but Superman would eventually overcome her.

When it comes to Professor Xavier and Jean Grey, Superman more than likely would not fair well. Why is this? Charles Xavier is the most powerful telepath on the planet. Jean Grey, even without the aid of the Phoenix, also possesses great strength in this area. Superman has shown no immunity to telepathic control, especially from one as powerful as Xavier. Combine him with Jean, and I fear Superman has no ground to stand on.

Superman is alone for this battle. However, the power rings of Green Lanterns have demonstrated the ability to block telepathic signals to the brain. If Hal Jordan, Kyle Raynor, John Stewart, Guy Gardner, Kilowog or any other ring bearer were at his side covering him in the emerald aura, he would have a shield to block the telepathic attacks. J'Onn J'Onnz could also provide telepathic resistance, though whether this would even rival Xavier's is severely in question.

So, now that we have broken down his opponents, with the exception of Jubilee who truthfully would not deliver anything anyway, let's begin thinking of how the match may progress.

The first scenario assumes that Superman is brought to the arena having no idea what he's up against. The X-Men are transported here as well, but they are only told that Superman is an alien threat that needs to be stopped. Using this scenario actually voids out Beast's inventive skills, since he would have no knowledge of Superman's weaknesses to work off of.

In this scenario, though, the X-Men have no knowledge of Superman's power. So they would probably try to approach him and talk him down first. Perhaps they would have Storm and Rogue fly to him and talk him into cooperating. Superman would of course respond suspiciously, asking what they are talking about. Xavier would read his mind, and quickly surmise that there is no threat and the match would end with no combat at all. Clearly, if we truly want to test the mettle of the combatants, we need to alter the scenario.

Scenario B says that the X-Men not only have knowledge that Superman is a potential threat, but have also seen him in action. Perhaps they are shown footage of Superman's powers. They then decide that they need to take him out swiftly, without holding back at all. In this case, Xavier and Jean would realize that the only possible way to stop him would be an instant telepathic attack, leaving Superman writhing in pain on the ground after falling from mental duress. Again, this ends too quickly, even though it proves the X-Men victorious.

Just to make this clear, so when people who know me don't assume I'm automatically siding with Superman in this fight: If Jean and Charles are in this match, Superman will be defeated. There. I said it.

But, since this is a match, and no one likes a severely one sided match, how can we make this more interesting? Let's go with scenario B again, but eliminate Xavier and Jean entirely. 

So... Our new line up is:

Now, Cyclops, Wolverine, Storm, Rogue, Jubilee, and Beast are left to handle this threat that must be defeated as soon as they enter. Beast still has no knowledge of any weaknesses. It is reasonable to assume that since the X-Men are a team, they would have protocol in place as to how to handle such a threat in an effective manner.

The X-Men now basically have three viable opening attacks. One: Cyclops hits an off guard Superman with an Optic blast. Two: Storm causes immediate lightning strikes to hit Superman. And the third: Rogue flies into him, attempting to use his power against him.

Option three is not likely. Why? While Rogue can fly fast, even supersonic, Superman is much, much faster. With this in mind, Superman would probably dodge an attack before it is even an option for her to absorb anything.

Option two also may not work as well as planned. It would take some time for Storm to charge enough lightning in the atmosphere to strike Superman. We need to remember that Superman would have begun using his vision abilities to scan the area as soon as he entered the arena, so he will pick up on his opponents sooner than later. Storm does not have much time to charge the static in the air around Superman.

This leaves us with option one. Cyclops' immediate optic attack. Superman is hit immediately upon becoming airborne. Since he is not expecting it, it tumbles him through the air. He won't hit the ground, because Cyclops has to look up to see him. So, if we're in "The Dome" (My imagined 36 square mile arena built on the moon for the sole purpose of these matches), Superman would collide with the force field that protects the frame. When Cyclops tires of blasting him, Superman would then probably fall to the ground, leaving a crater.

Now that Storm has had time to charge up a decent lightning blast, she will hit him as he is starting to stand again. The lightning strikes would hit Superman the way a taser hits us humans. His muscles would freeze and he would drop again. However, having seen Superman against Captain Marvel, we can conclude that he would soon be able to move out of the path of the lightning. The next logical conclusion is to take out the threat. So, he would come after Storm. He could easily immobilize her. A tap on her forehead would do it.

Now its back to the rest of the X-Men. Cyclops would probably blast him again, but as he is flying towards the X-Men, he would more than likely be able to dodge the blast. Then he would put Cyclops down, leaving him unconscious for the match.

Who's left? Gambit, Wolverine, Rogue, Beast, and Jubilee. The team realizes that their power players are out of the game. The next viable option is now in play: Rogue using her abilities to at least attempt to drain Superman of his abilities.

This leads to an issue: Getting her bare hands on someone as fast as the Man of Steel.

My guess: There are two ways that she could manage to cop a feel. One, she would have to play the "damsel in distress" and convince Superman to rescue her. Would this really work though?

Let's think: The X-Men have been convinced that Superman is a major threat. To the entire planet. What would make Rogue think he would rescue her if she was in danger? That goes against the concept of attacking Superman to begin with. If she has even an inkling that Superman has the desire to rescue people, the X-Men would have to reconsider the fight to begin with. So, option one is not likely, even improbable.

Two: Superman, viewing Rogue as no threat upon her approach, would simply attempt to grab her, despite her bare hands. This would grant her the ability to drain Superman. This is very possible as an option. However, if Superman as already been attacked by the other X-Men, would he be more cautious now? Just a thought. For the sake of the match, I'm going to assume he would not, since Rogue shows no real threat to him at first glance. Therefore, Rogue is able to absorb a portion of Superman's powers. And drain Superman of some of his. Only briefly, though, as he would toss her off as soon as he feels the drain.

So, we have Superman drained. Let's assume he is now at his Golden age strength level (Flightless, susceptible to gases, no vision abilities, etc.) Now, our other team members can come in. Gambit's card attacks may serve to stun Superman. Beast, with animal reflexes and speed, may be able to subdue the dazed Man of Steel. Wolverine's adamantium claws may pierce his flesh. Rogue, has the upper hand with Superman's abilities. Even Jubilee, who can create energy globules she calls "fireworks", could probably cause some damage.

Remember, if Rogue touched him for a second, Superman is weakened for a minute. My best guess is that Superman would have shaken her off in a second, maybe slightly more or slightly less. Either way, his abilities are weakened for about a minute. A minute is a long time when you have five people laying it into you from all sides.

Rest assured, once he is fully restored, Superman is not falling for Rogue's touch again. And once he is back to full strength, he has an advantage: Flight. Assuming he knocks Rogue out immediately, Jubilee, Wolverine, Beast, and Gambit stand no chance against a full powered Superman in the air.

Whirlwind attacks would probably lay them out pretty quickly. As in, he flies around quickly enough to form a tornado and take down all remaining X-Men. And, by my match rules in The Dome, that would end the battle.

So. In short, the only X-Men, in this line up anyway, that could take Superman on are the telepaths Professor X and Jean Grey. Some may argue that it would be unfair. Maybe there should be some heavy hitters like Juggernaut. But the chosen lineup was what it was. I'm not saying no X-Men could defeat Superman. There are a few.

Hope you enjoyed. Add a comment if you wish.

The Star Wars Prequels: Could They Have Been Better?

When I watch “The Phantom Menace” in my home, I usually can't even manage to stay awake past the Podrace sequence. The bright colors and loud, obnoxious announcer should be more than enough to keep a trucker awake for a solid thirty-six hour drive days after he has finished watching it, yet myself, and several other Star Wars fans feel that one word sums up the entire sequence: Dull. Yet, when I watch “Star Wars: The Clone Wars” On Cartoon Network, I am engrossed. More so than when I watch anything else on TV. And, even though they have their own dull, cardboard acting moments, “Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith” usually keep me entertained. They have essentially the same cast and follow a standard saga, so I am obliged to ask: What went wrong? And, could it have been fixed? Is there anyway that the Star Wars Prequels could have been saved, or were they doomed to fail? Thankfully, I have friends I can discuss these things with. I'm not really a sports guy, and a handful of us at work don't have fantasy teams so we have our own sci-fi/comic book discussions in our little nerd corner. In the past ten years since “The Phantom Menace” came out, I often consider what I would have done differently if I were George Lucas. Now, I wish to put them in writing. The Phantom Menace: Naturally, we start where the primary problem is. Episode I was the beginning of the end, and I honestly believe some major changes in the first place would make the entire prequel trilogy not only bearable, but even awesome. I mean, even if II and III were essentially left the same as they are, they would be good. Yes, Hayden Christenson is made of wood and Natalie Portman was drawn out and extremely shallow as Padme, but was Mark Hamill Academy Award winning in 1977? No, so we can live with poor acting.   Let's handle the big, festering, blister of the prequels: Jar Jar Binks. Everyone's favorite retarded fish-platypus. He is the one character in the prequels that literally brings absolutely nothing to the table as far as entertainment goes. His voice is aggravating/racist and mannerisms make my stomach turn. So, how do we fix, not only Mr. Binks, but the entire Gungan race? Any who have played “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time” will understand the concept of a cool amphibious culture. The Zoras not only look cool, they are excellent fighters. So, we can keep the Gungans as a plot point and therefore allow the Trade Federation/Gungan battle at the end.   First, the Gungan's appearance. Again, I invite you to think of the Zoras. If the Gungans were modeled after something besides a plucked goose with shaved cocker spaniel ears, they would not be associated with clumsiness. Let's think of, say, Kit Fisto. He is obviously amphibious and is cool. If the Gungans had the appearance similar to Jedi Master Fisto, they would not only be tolerable, but cool. Next, their god-awful voice and speech patterns. If they did not speak with their broken jibberish, but spoke with a dignified accent for their English, think of how much better their scenes would play out. But, since they sound like a four year old got their tongue wrapped in a ceiling fan motor, we cannot sympathize with them, we find ourselves praying for their death. So, let's insert this new twist into the storyline of “The Phantom Menace”: Qui-Gon Jinn runs through the jungles of Naboo, being attacked by STAPs and droids. Suddnely, Obi-Wan Kenobi arrives and rescues Qui-Gon. Just as they get surrounded by more STAPs and droids, the army gets taken out by energy balls and spears, as Gungan warriors, with... Hmmm... You know, Jar Jar Binks is not really a dignified name for a leader of amphibious guerilla warriors. How about, “Kraw Manta”? If you don't like that one, just insert a name of your choosing when I use it.   So, as Gungan warriors with their leader, general Kraw Manta come out of the shadows of the jungle, they suspiciously surround the Jedi. After taking the Jedi to their leader (Someone with a better name then “Boss Nass”), Kraw agrees to accompany them on a journey through the planet's core (with only one fish attack in my version). After assisting in rescuing the Naboo leaders, Kraw Manta gets stuck with them on the trip to Tatooine. He would be a tough, rugged warrior, with an animosity towards outsiders. Over the course of the film, he would eventually grow fond of his companions.   Already sounding better? Hope so. Here's another change I would like: The opening crawl would now say that representative Padme Amidala would already be on Naboo, attempting to handle the crisis. When that got to be too much, she requested Jedi ambassadors. Why Representative Amidala? Because Padme as a queen was completely useless. Think about it, in “Attack of the Clones” she is a senator. If she is removed as Queen and someone else takes the role of ruler the trilogy plays out exactly the same. So, we have Representative Amidala, who serves along with Senator Palpatine in the Galactic Senate.   So, she requests the assistance of the Jedi and they send Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi- Two Jedi who are old friends and have been partnered on many missions. See, in this version, Obi-Wan is a veteran Jedi Knight, not Jinn's padawan. There was no reason to show Obi-Wan's master, especially since he named Yoda as his master in “The Empire Strikes Back”. Maybe give Obi-Wan a goatee or something to show he is a little older than before. Another problem that I feel should be handled right off, Nute Gunray should not be a laughable, bumbling leader as he is shown. He realistically should be a charismatic, ballsy rebel leader. After all, his actions in “The Phantom Menace” basically are an act of terrorism. People don't rally to the cause of someone who almost craps there pants once Jedi board his ship. Like the Gungans, his change would be best shown by altering their appearance. No more pseudo-Asian accent with a mouth that doesn't line up with what's said. And he reports, not to Darth Sidious, but Darth Maul. This essentially puts Darth Maul in a more active role with more speaking lines. The Separatists in my version of the prequels never meet Darth Sidious. He is only hinted at until the end of “The Phantom Menace” when Darth Maul, who survives by the skin of his teeth after a lengthy battle with the Jedi, contacts him to say that everything is going according to plan. We continue, the Jedi and Gungan general Kraw Manta arrive at Theed, and rescue the Queen, representative Amidala, and the others. Included in this group would be a gold plated C-3P0. I don't see what value having Anakin build Threepio brings to the series except for shock value. It's a more dignified position to have Threepio be with upper class citizens from the start. R2-D2 would still be introduced the same way. And they meet when Threepio is instructed to clean the astromech droid. So we get to Tattooine, where the actual movie essentially went down hill. Here we meet Anakin Skywalker- and eighteen year old slave forced to work at Watto's shop since his childhood. He is a nice child with a dark side (Wink), bitter about his life as a slave. As Qui-Gon, Kraw, and Artoo negotiate with Watto about parts for the ship. We witness the awkward, argumentative beginning to Padme and Anakin's relationship. We know there's romantic tension there, its just shown the same way Han and Leia's was in “the Empire Strikes Back”, which is much better than Padme and Anakin's actual conversations in any prequel movie. As the party leaves Watto's shop, dejected over not being given the parts, Anakin stops them and tells them he may be able to help. He brings them back to his home, where we meet his mother. There, he tells of his skill at.... T16 sky-hopper racing! There's a race at Beggar's Canyon the next day and he is willing to assist in getting their parts in a bet with Watto. They agree. The race sequence is shown with less publicity and no announcers. It would be more like an underground street race with just betters and sponsors present. The race is about nine hours shorter, but the competition between Sebulba and Anakin would still be seen. Another major change: No midichlorians. Joke. I mean, Qui-Gon should just be able to sense the power within Anakin, there should not be a blood test requirement. Without midichlorians we now need an explanation for Anakin's father. Here's one that doesn't even need elaboration: Anakin's mother has been a slave. What happens to female slaves in third world countries? It's a sad fact but its true. Anakin simply never met his father, who is probably a freighter pilot somewhere in the Outer Rim who just went to a cantina and had some “fun” with Shmi. With that, I also motion for the elimination of the “Chosen One” story arc. Let's face it, Anakin as the Chosen One was barely even acknowledged again until “Revenge of the Sith”. So it's a useless plot point. He's a Force sensitive person with excellent precognition. Qui-Gon would still push for his training without the idea of the Chosen One. Frankly, the whole concept is bland and cliché anyway. Why even use it? Anakin wins and Qui-Gon surprises him by reworking the bet for his freedom. And the word “yipee” is never, ever uttered in the Star Wars Universe. Ever. On the way to the ship, Qui-Gon and Anakin are attacked by Darth Maul, whose face is covered during the attack. Instead of running into the ship like a pansy, Anakin attempts to help Qui-Gon and is Force pushed to the floor by Maul. They escape in much the same manner as the actual move. The Coruscant scenes are basically unchanged. Palpatine works things well to remove Valorum from office and take his place as Chancellor. The Jedi Council decides Anakin will not be trained. And they all return to Naboo to attempt to thwart the droid invasion, with Kraw agreeing to talk with the Gungans to fight alongside the Naboo people. The attack is successful, with Representative Amidala leading the attack against the palace. The Jedi fight Darth Maul, with more discussions in the style of the old trilogy during the fight. Anakin sees the soldiers pinned down and takes an unmanned fighter with Artoo and flies into battle. He destroys the cruiser (On purpose). The movie ends essentially the same way: Palpatine is named Chancellor, Padme becomes Senator of Naboo, Kraw agrees reluctantly to being Represnetative of not just the Gungans, but all of Naboo, Anakin becomes Obi-Wan's apprentice, and Nute Gunray is arrested. Major difference: Darth Maul survives and escapes the planet, reporting to Sidious as stated before. There, the prequels are already looking up. With “The Phantom Menace” altered, its almost like a bone has been set and the wound can start to heal. Let's keep going, shall we? Attack of the Clones: Okay, that's a retarded name. I would change it, since it makes the Clones sound evil. Something like “Clone Wars Rising” or something. Anyway, We're well set up since the end of “The Phantom Menace”, it's not a ten year difference, though. It's now just four years. Anakin is now twenty-two and a well established apprentice (I personally don't see the need for the word Padawan. I think Apprentice covers all the bases). Senator Padme lands and an attack on her life is made. She survives, with help from Kraw who is not only Representaive, but Padme's chief of security (Sorry Captain Typho). Obi-Wan and Anakin are assigned to Padme for guard duty. Again, Padme and Anakin start a Han/Leia style bickering relationship. Nevertheless, Obi-Wan warns Anakin of attachment. In my version, Zam Wessel would not exist. Jango would be the one attacking Padme directly. A chase ensues, with Jango being tracked to the same bar. He escapes when he paralyzes Obi-Wan with a dart, forcing Anakin to help him.   Now, using the dart, Obi-Wan uses his seedy underworld contact Dex to learn of Kamino. In this version, Dex is a spice dealer in the underbelly of Coruscant, not a cheesy CG owner of a diner. He travels to Kamino and has basically the same experiences. Anakin now travels with Padme, Threepio, and Artoo to Naboo. There, the Senator and Jedi discover their true feelings for each other and share in a kiss. Padme, though holds her feelings back. An important change, Count Dooku no longer exists. The role of Sith Lord goes to Darth Maul. He is leading the Separatists alongside Valorum, the ousted Chancellor from “The Phantom Menace”. In the time between “Menace” and “Clones”, they have worked together to rally many people to the Confederacy and freed Nute Gunray for use of his droid armies. The advantage of doing this would be that we would not need to get used to a new set of characters every movie, but instead have a standard group of heroes and villains like the original trilogy. Anakin dreams of his mother's death and travels to Tatooine. The same things happen, including Anakin's slaughter of the Sand People. But, he does not have a teenage drama attack when he tells Padme. Instead, he has a fit of rage describing it. The room shakes violently with the powers emanating from the Force until Padme's touch calms it. I know that Jar Jar was the one responsible for the Emergency Powers for Palpatine. There is a way to fix that. Kraw, as a warrior, would realize the importance of meeting the Separatists in battle with a complete army. So, he votes to give Palpatine the ability to mobilize the army. So, Obi-Wan follows Jango and Boba Fett to Geonosis where he is captured by the Separatists. He is forced to confront Darth Maul, quite awkward seeing how Maul killed Qui-Gon. Maul confesses his allegiance to Darth Sidious to Obi-Wan and states that the Sith have already gained control of the Senate. After following the plot of the actual movie, Anakin and Obi-Wan face off against Darth Maul. Anakin loses his arm before Yoda arrives and fights Maul. Maul escapes and meets up with Sidious (The first time we see him in person in my version of the prequels). Anakin and Padme wed, the Clones ship off to battle, and the movie ends. Revenge of the Sith: Let's end this. The movie opens the same, and Anakin kills Darth Maul after Palpatine persuades him. I originally had planned on eliminating Grievous from the storyline, until I saw him in “Star Wars: The Clone Wars”. He is cool, and worthwhile. He just needs more screen time. On Utupau, Obi-Wan and Grievous' fight would have been longer, with more lightsaber fighting.   One problem I have- Wookies need to do more than howl. I want to see them tear droids apart, and crush things with their bare hands. The Kashyyyk scene would have been so cool had the wookiees been given justice. Another- When the Clones turn on the Jedi, there should be more of a fight. Instead of cutting to scenes of Jedi getting slaughtered, they should cut to scenes of Jedi fighting back valiantly before falling. Along those same lines, Mace Windu's force going to arrest Palpatine should have lasted slightly longer. Give Palpatine two lightsabers and have him square off against four Jedi. Yeah, Windu should be the last one, but the others were veterans, it makes no sense for them to go down so quickly. When Senator Organa leaves the planet, Kraw Manta leaves with him. Now, Kraw has been a cool warrior character, not an annoyance like Jar Jar was. So he deserves some closure. So, I'm adding a scene to the movie. As Yoda escapes the grasp of Palpatine, he gets cornered by Troopers. Just when it seems to be over, Kraw hits the troopers with a blaster bolt. As he allows Yoda to escape with Organa, he loses his life bravely. The move ends the same. I had no issues with the ending. I mean, you could grasp at straws and say “But, Leia said in 'Jedi' that she remembered her mother! Foul!” Get over it. It makes no sense for Padme to live. You can't hide a Senator properly. I would, however, change Anakin's reaction when his finds out of Padme's death. The “Nooooooooooo!” should be angry, not pitiful. So, there you have it. My prequel changes. One overall change- Easy on the special effects, Lucas. A good example of a sci-fi movie with good effects and good character development: “Serenity”. The characters are great and while there are effects, they do not have six establishing shots for one location or overpowering CG characters. George Lucas could take some lessons from Joss Whedon. Or Spielberg. Or Peter Jackson. You know what, he's really not that great of a film maker. At least not since “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”.   That's a tale for another day- Things I would Change about “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”.